"Welcome to Baby Hell"

That's what the dad of the Fam told me last night at dinner. We're at the shore this week (hence the lack of posting), and last night we went to dinner with a family who are long-time friends of the Fam. They have two girls, ages 6 and 4. So all nine of us were at this restaurant. It was small and crazy loud and crowded, and of course the kids were restless and also loud and fighting over the toys. Then it all started to tumble down around us. The younger daughter of the other family had a complete melt-down. The family decided to leave, it was so bad. At this point we had been at the restaurant almost an hour and still didn't have our food, so the poor mom had to wait another 5-10 minutes for her now to-go food to come out so she could go home. Then we had to wait another 15ish minutes after that for our food, both kids getting increasingly restless as bed time rapidly approached. All told, N and B did pretty well. There was copious peek-a-booing and on-the-spot game invention with objects on our table. In the end we finally got food, which was good but soooo not worth it. I was not technically working, so it wasn't really that stressful for me, I just felt bad for all the other adults (and the kids for that matter). And that, my friends, is another reason I will not be having kids of my own for a VERY long time.

The real excitement in life is that I fly to Spokane tomorrow for Anna's Tuesday evening wedding. I get to see friends, eat at Thai Bamboo and Tomato Street (I hope), see a dear friend get hitched, perhaps rig up a hammock with Claire in the Loop during Frosh arrival just for grins, and remember that New Jersey is just a temporary stop over on a long awaited return to the West.

Convenience

There is something sad about how very convenience oriented we Americans are. We want everything at one store (e.g. Target or Wal-Mart) or in bulk so we can shop less often, and if there is a drive through window, all the better. We ask, why can't we just slow down, chat with the person behind the counter, leave a few minutes early so you don't have to drive through for coffee. Why is convenience such a determining factor in our lives?
Because the baby is asleep in the back and if you wake her up she won't stop crying until she gets a bottle; because it takes the pre-schooler 15 minutes to go potty and put on shoes; because of the ever-present melt-down factor that can add a solid half hour to any excursion; because they both want to touch everything they see and want anything they can't have; because it's really hard to endorse a check and use an ATM with only one hand without the baby eating the check; because getting the stroller in and out of the trunk while juggling two kids and a purse and a diaper bag is not easy.
I'm converted. Convenience is awesome. American's may be self-centered, too fast paced, and engulfed by the need for instant gratification, but if that means I can get coffee almost every day from the drive through coffee hut without it disturbing the kids, then so be it. And if they put in a drive-up ATM at the local PNC, all the better.

True Beauty

N likes to say things are beautiful. Rays of light flowers, etc.
Yesterday he had a little accident at the park. He ran up to me and told me his poop was already coming out and it was a big mess. So I ran him over to the port-a-potty and he finished his business and I threw his messed undies in the port-a-potty. He looked in the hole and exclaimed, "My beautiful underwear!" And they weren't even a pair with Lightning McQueen (from Cars) or Spiderman on them, just plain old tighty whiteys. It was pretty cute, and thankfully not as big of a mess as he had led me to fear.

And my next post will not be about poop.

A Sh!$$y Day, Literally

This afternoon N had diarrhea all over his bedroom floor. Awesome.
Apparently that was what was necessary to cure me of my reticence to eat alone at a real restaurant. I have just returned from Chili's with renewed determination to get accepted to grad school.

All By Myself

I really don't mind doing things alone. Even things that most people would prefer to do with another person, and perhaps would not consider doing alone, I do by myself without a second thought. I go hiking, go to the movies, go to the mall, and occasionally eat at the 70's-tastic Galaxy Diner here in Kinnelon. But last night I discovered the current limit of my independence, and it's name is Applebee's. I was craving a yummy salad and maybe a beer for dinner last night, and I thought about ordering it to go, but realized there was no place for me to go to eat it. Applebee's, like everything else here, is about 15 minutes away, and it was too hot to eat at a park outside. I had almost resolved myself to go get a table for one. But there is a line from "Home Improvement" that for some unknown reason has tainted my perception of people who eat alone in real restaurants: "Al "table for one" Borland." Every now and then I've seen women eating alone in restaurants and they always seem to be youngish (like under 40), a little overweight and unkempt, and reading a vapid trade paperback, and the assumptions I automatically make about their lives are not exactly mean but not positive either. So I ended up at the Wendy's adjacent to Applebee's eating a salad and talking on my cell phone. Maybe I would have made it into Applebee's if I was currently reading my book on the history of the Balkans, or one of the 4 Dostoevsky novels on my list, but I'm in the middle of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Which brings me to the pride issue, the crux of the matter. I should probably get over it by humiliating myself at a really good restaurant during peak hours with a harlequin novel or something. Or maybe I'll just buck up and try again next weekend, by which time I should be on to the next Harry Potter. Or maybe I could even meet people my age with whom to gather socially.

This Week in Nannydom

This week we've been on vacation at the Jersey shore. I should say the Fam has been on vacation, and I have been facilitating the vacationlyness of their vacation. I was a little concerned about working this week. Would I end up just being on pretty much the whole time? Would it be weird to have the parents there the whole time vacationing while I took care of the kids? When the friends of the Fam arrived, would I basically get stuck watching their kids too (same ages as N and B, but both boys)? Would I have time to finish reading Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (book #2)?
It has turned out to be a good week. The Fam is great about my hours. They've heard too many Nanny Diaries-esque horror stories to allow me to get taken advantage of, so I've worked my normal 8-6. It's actually been nice working with the parents around too. I generally like them, so that helps, and I was rarely 100% in charge of both kids, which is also nice. But more than that, it is good to know that they have seen me do exactly what I do when they aren't there (feeding, chores, discipline, play, etc.) and have been positive and appreciative. They would tell me if I need to do things really differently. As for the other family, obviously I played with more than just N and B, and I did end up watching both 8month olds for an hour (and God have mercy on parents of multiples, because that hour involved a good deal of crying and two poopy diapers), but it was all good and I didn't get roped into staying at the house with four kids so parents could trot off to the beach for the day.
And Harry Potter? I'm halfway through #4.
Now it's the weekend, I'm still at the shore, but no longer working and thus free to enjoy the beautiful house and beach with no guilt about staying out of N's temper tantrum or B's fantastically nasty diaper.

Soundtrack for Life

N likes to sing, so today I started developing a little soundtrack for our time together.
While driving he can now sing "on the road again, just can't wait to get on the road again."
When we get home he can say "home again, home again, jiggity jig."
And we're working on "rubber duckie, you're the one"

This afternoon we had a playdate with another boy N's age at a park and they ran up and down a hill for almost 2 hours while the other nanny and I sat in the grass with the babies chatting and doling out cheerios. It's amazing how entertained kids can be, and even more amazing that neither of them totally bit it running down that hill.

A Loooong Week

This was the first week I've had both kids all day. N had school then VBS, but now he is unoccupied until morning camp starts week after next. This wouldn't have been that big of a deal - actually it's kind of nice because we could have playdates in the morning and not interfere with nap time. But alas, B had pneumonia (she's better now) so we had to stay in. No trips to the library, the park, his friends' houses. . . All this amounts to time outs. Many, many time outs. And tantrums. Lots of those too. On the bright side, he seems to have gotten over running around the house screaming (now he just runs sans screaming), and he hasn't freaked out thrashing and kicking when I put him in his time out spot. If he wasn't so darn cute when he is behaving . . .

One really cute thing is his reaction to my tattoo. He asked why I had a stamp on my finger and I told him it was to remind me that Jesus loves me. He said maybe he should get a "God stamp" too, but I said he could just remember in his heart that Jesus loves him. I told him I was surprised he was just now noticing it, because B has touched it and seemed to know it was something weird on my hand. So he said that maybe B likes to look at it because it makes her think about Jesus, and for a few days after that he would tell me to show B my God stamp. So cute.

Off Days

All these years as a student I never knew what I was missing: Days Off!!! Now that I have designated on and off time, I'm making the most of the off.
Last Saturday I trotted off to North-West Jersey to go hiking. I left a note for the Fam saying where I was going and if I wasn't back by 6 to send a search party, since I was going alone and likely to be without cell reception. Turns out such warning was not really necessary, since a "hike" in New Jersey is a pleasant stroll through the woods in Colorado. I think the elevation gain was something like 500ft. But I saw a bear on the road, and a beautiful view from the top of the fire lookout tower I climbed. Rattlesnake Swamp Trail was much prettier than the name suggests, and my only complaint (other than New Jersey not being Colorado) is that there are a lot more bugs here.
Today I had the day off to replace my usual Saturday off, since they need me to watch the kidlets tomorrow down the Shore. So I a woke up early and set off for NYC. I walked to The Strand, from whence I emerged with 7 books and a new tote bag. I meandered through the Green Market at Union Square. I got a variety of yummy salads at Whole Foods and ate lunch on a bench outside. I went to the Ukrainian Museum (so wierd to see my namesake city and clan on so many maps and placards!). Then I made my way back to the house where I am now going to do laundry, make some dinner, and watch a movie in the home theater.
Rough life.

What Kids Know

I find the cognitive and moral reasoning ability of an (almost) 4 year old fascinating. Does he reason through the process of bargaining down his punishments, or does a behavior develop over time whereby he hears the threat of no tv then promises to be better (the actually words are usually more sophisticated than that, unless he's having a full-blown tantrum) so he manages to keep being bad and not get punished? Yesterday I was threatening to cancel a playdate if he didn't start behaving and he actually said "you're joking!" I probably should have just canceled the playdate immediately to make my point, but I wanted to meet the nanny. I've come a long way in 9 days as far as firmness and consistency with discipline, but the smack is going to have to start being laid down if he's going to stop manipulating me and his parents out of punishments. We all chalked his behavior up to transission stress, but it's time to get him over that hump.
I do actually enjoy nannying though. When N is sweet, he is REALLY cute. Yesterday he told me that I had a mission to take care of B all day long. He also found a plastic toy coin and gave it to me and was so excited to have given it to me and wanted me to keep it forever and show it to everyone. B really wants to stand, and it looks like she'll skip crawling. That'll be fun with hard wood floors.

Also, you may have discovered that I don't get cell phone reception here. If you need to reach me you can call the house 8am-9pm and the number is on facebook and on my gmail signature.

God Bless the Inventor of Nap Time

Today's afternoon nap was sandwiched by the 3 1/2 year old boy (henceforth "N", for privacy) freaking out a lot, running around the house screaming, refusing to do pretty much anything. I don't want to chase him and make him think it's a fun game, and couldn't anyway with the 7month old girl (henceforth "B") on my hip. I've seen him do this a number of times with his parents and this was my initiation. In a few weeks maybe I'll know whether this is just acting out over a rough transition between nannies, or testing me, or just a broader behavior issue, and probably some combination of the above. To make matters more interesting every time he freaked out today I couldn't really discipline him effectively with time out because the first was right before nap, the second was as we were rushing out the door to swim lessons, and the final his dad took over and I was relieved.
But nap time . . . It was short today, but I had an amazing and quiet lunch. I made myself a salad of baby spinach, grilled chicken, cucumber, pear, romano cheese, and pomegranate vinaigrette. Ahhhhh.
Tomorrow N has a class field trip to an amusement park, so his mom is going with him and I'm staying home with B. She's mostly pretty easy and happy, but she's definitely having some separation anxiety.

Mad props to Alisa, Jennifer, and all you other moms who spend your days (and nights, and every moment) with an infant and a toddler and still manage to be delightful and mostly sane people.

Back to the Drawing Board

I visited the United Methodist Church nearest me this morning. It was me, 3 elderly couples, the pastor, a guitar player and a pianist. It was also quite probably one of the most stream-of-consciousness random (and somewhat theologically dubious) sermons I've heard in a long time. They were really friendly after the service, inviting my to coffee hour and chatting with me. The pastor seems like a good guy and wants me to preach when he goes on vacation. The long and the short of it is, I'll probably be hard pressed to find a church with younger people and things for me to get involved in. I have at least a year, so we'll see how it goes.

The Sound of Settling

The nanny adventure officially begins on Monday, but I'm already settling in to life with The Fam (as they will be called to protect their privacy). Today I drove around Kinnelon. There's not much of it, but all the basics are covered--Target, Borders, Dunkin' Donuts. Life is good. Except I'm paranoid that my hard drive is going to crash at any minute, since a lot of people with MacBooks have had that happen recently. That's all for the moment, but much more to come once life gets interesting.

The Greatest State

I'm sitting in a local coffee shop a short walk from my parents' place sipping Americano, my tummy full of amazing Whole Foods salads. The sun is shining, people are out and about in the mixed-use shopping/apartment area. Most importantly, the mountains are right there waiting for me if I poke my head out the door and look West. It's funny what being land-locked and wedged in by mountains does to a person's understanding of what geography ought to be. I drove for 4 days through some of the flattest (though pretty in their own way) states in the union. Even though I haven't had time during this trip to go hiking and enjoy the Rockies properly, I did go four-wheeling through a pretty canyon in Colorado Springs.
Which brings me to what actually makes this the greatest state: the friends I get to see here. I visited my home church, spent a few days with Claire and Dave (including some much needed Swing Dancing at the Merc), am getting together with long-time friends from youth groups, and seeing a college friend for Indian food tonight (Erika J). There aren't nearly as many people here for me to see as their used to be, a phenomenon I also discovered in Spokane last March, but the ones I do get to see are precious to me.
Tomorrow I fly back to NJ to start a new adventure: Child Rearing. Stay tuned for my adventures as a Live-In nanny.

Master of Divinity

Momentous!

This is me, seconds before submitting my LAST PAPER of seminary.



This is me, 10 minutes from now.



and I'm spent.

t minus 26 hours

1 conclusion and some editing then another 12-15 page paper and I'm done with seminary.

62 hours . . .

. . . until my seminary education ends with a bang and the submission of my last two papers. It'd help if I could bring myself to start writing them. With 62 hours remaining that's just over 2 hours per page. I'm golden. Unless I continue to get 7ish hours of sleep each night, in which case I'm down to 41 hours. That's without eating or watching Bones episodes on DVD, both of which are rather essential. Now if someone wants to give me a quick overview of what happened in Czechoslovakia between 1945 and 1958 that'd save me a lot of time. Thanks.

click, clack, moo

Greetings from the Oratory, where I have been in this chair for the majority of the past week and will continue to be until Monday at noon. Here's the update (in large part to make myself feel like I'm making progress).
New Testament Canon formation summary: Complete! (6 pages, turned in on 4/21)
Curriculum Assessment for evangelism: Complete! (15 pages, turned in on 4/25)
Paper on The Shepherd of Hermas: Complete! (15 pages, turned in on 4/28)
War and Christian Conscience paper: Needs editing. (15 pages, due on 5/2)
Ethics of Bonhoeffer paper: In progress. (8/11 pages, due on 5/3)
Modern European history paper: not started (15 pages, due on 5/5)
Congregational Ministries paper: not started (12ish pages, due on 5/5)
If you have a calendar handy you might notice that all seven of these are within a two week time period. So that's about 2.5 papers to go and 5.5 days to do it. I'm on a 3 days/paper schedule and that's working so far. I'm also on a multible episodes of Bones/day schedule, which is less conducive to productivity. Still sleeping 7 hours/night doesn't help that either.
I'm excited to soon blog about things other than writing papers.

no more school, no more books

or at least no more classes. Plenty of books and plenty of papers. But no more classroom for at least a year. Wierd.