All By Myself

I really don't mind doing things alone. Even things that most people would prefer to do with another person, and perhaps would not consider doing alone, I do by myself without a second thought. I go hiking, go to the movies, go to the mall, and occasionally eat at the 70's-tastic Galaxy Diner here in Kinnelon. But last night I discovered the current limit of my independence, and it's name is Applebee's. I was craving a yummy salad and maybe a beer for dinner last night, and I thought about ordering it to go, but realized there was no place for me to go to eat it. Applebee's, like everything else here, is about 15 minutes away, and it was too hot to eat at a park outside. I had almost resolved myself to go get a table for one. But there is a line from "Home Improvement" that for some unknown reason has tainted my perception of people who eat alone in real restaurants: "Al "table for one" Borland." Every now and then I've seen women eating alone in restaurants and they always seem to be youngish (like under 40), a little overweight and unkempt, and reading a vapid trade paperback, and the assumptions I automatically make about their lives are not exactly mean but not positive either. So I ended up at the Wendy's adjacent to Applebee's eating a salad and talking on my cell phone. Maybe I would have made it into Applebee's if I was currently reading my book on the history of the Balkans, or one of the 4 Dostoevsky novels on my list, but I'm in the middle of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Which brings me to the pride issue, the crux of the matter. I should probably get over it by humiliating myself at a really good restaurant during peak hours with a harlequin novel or something. Or maybe I'll just buck up and try again next weekend, by which time I should be on to the next Harry Potter. Or maybe I could even meet people my age with whom to gather socially.