Sunday, June 21, 2009
Father's Day and Gender Stereotypes
Yesterday I was in Target looking for a card for my dad and I had an epiphane about the very sexist nature of this holiday, or at least the greeting cards it was created to sell. I have no problem with setting aside a day to celebrate Fathers (or Mothers or any other group worth celebrating), but think about the Mother's Day cards versus the Father's Day cards. On Mother's day it's all about "you do it all mom": bake cookies, work full time, clean the house, set the example, raise the kids, drive the mini van,etc. etc. There's no disputing that image of motherhood. Believe me, my mom could be the poster mother for the do-it-all type. But then there are the Father's Day cards. They assume that Dad's don't do-it-all. In fact they do a few very specific things: mow the lawn, grill, play golf or baseball, watch tv, drink beer, and fart. My dad always hated mowing the lawn, I have no memory of him ever grilling anything, he doesn't play golf or baseball or any other sport, and while he does watch his share of tv he doesn't do so incessantly with a beer in one hand and a remote in the other while emitting unnatural odors. In addition, all the cards in the "from daughter" category either assume the daughter is Daddy's little princess or some adult version of that sentiment. I do not now nor have I ever been a little princess, so those would only work if I was going for irony. Therefore I ended up choosing a nice but somewhat generic card. Hallmark doesn't have a little poem and stock photo for dad's who teach their daughters about profit margins, world history, current politics and economics, literature, Broadway showtunes, useless Hollywood trivia, rhetoric, or Shakespeare. I mean no offense to those of you whose dad's do fit the greeting card stereotype or still do think of yourself as Daddy's Little Princess. But I'm happy to be the bibliophilic feminist intellectual my dad contributed to me becoming.
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3 comments:
I'm happy you're a bibliophilic feminist intellectual, too.
And I actually went to the store to buy Matt a Father's Day card, and walked out in disgust after about 5 minutes. I lost count at >80 cards, and NOT ONE was marketed to a stay at home dad. Blech.
I went with a "You're a great husband" card and wrote in the part about being a good daddy on Jamie's card, then a semi-sappy one for my dad. I steered clear of the "funny" section, because it might as well be the "negative stereotypes" section.
What a frustrating experience. My father also does not at all fit the stereotypes, but I can't remember ever shopping for a Fathers' Day card. As a child I made cards for my father, then I graduated to writing him poems, and the last two years my siblings and I have just taken him out to dinner. I suppose non-stereotypical fathers probably are more likely not to care so much about getting a card, anyway--probably any expression of appreciation will do.
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